PaisleyJade: November 2012

Boo

Instagram Friday...

By PaisleyJade - Friday, November 30, 2012

5 Comments

family life

insert evil laugh here

By PaisleyJade - Tuesday, November 27, 2012

4 Comments

family life

Dress up shenanigans...

By PaisleyJade - Sunday, November 25, 2012

16 Comments

dolls

Instagram Loving...

By PaisleyJade - Thursday, November 22, 2012

9 Comments

amigurumi

Lollipop Brooch (Twinkie Chan)

By PaisleyJade - Tuesday, November 20, 2012

5 Comments

faith

Doing it Afraid...

By PaisleyJade - Monday, November 19, 2012

You could say that as a young girl I had a major issue with fear. I remember being very afraid of the dark, peering around the corner of my bedroom door and up and down the passage before I sprinted to the toilet at night, and then repeating the same process before I sprinted back to my warm, safe bed.

I also had a serious fear of spiders. Now, I know your thinking that being afraid of the dark and spiders doesn't sound to abnormal, but strangely enough I wasn't so afraid of the big, black furry spiders, but was extremely afraid of the teeny, tiny spiders with the long thin legs, daddy-long-legs.

I don't know whether my fear of spiders began with an aunt screaming with fear and jumping on a stool when she saw a spider, or when my brother used to chase me and my friends around the house with spiders crawling in his hair, or when my mother exclaimed loudly one day that she had just swallowed half of a daddy-long-legs spider down with her tea and that some of the legs remained in the bottom of her cup... either way, there was very real fear for these harmless critters deeply ingrained into my brain.

No matter how much I tried to avoid these tiny critters, they seemed to seek me out. Whether it was random attacks on me by crawling down my face while I was calmly minding my own business or during our annual family holiday having to stay in a batch that was riddled with them, they would seek me out. Seriously, you would not believe how many of them used to camp out in the long drop toilet! I still have a guilty feeling as I think back to the constant thump of my mother's jandal (flipflop) squashing the poor things so that I could be comfortable enough to visit the loo without fear of them "attacking" me.

The strange thing about fear is that when left alone, it doesn't disappear, in fact it does the opposite, it grows. Along with my fear of long-legged spiders, in crept the fear of what my friends thought of me, a fear of being laughed at, the fear of too much attention (I hated public speaking) and generally a fear of anything that made me fearful.

The crazy thing is, that as adult you can still be riddled with fears.

There came a point in my life where I had a really frightful experience that caused me to once and for all deal with my enemy of fear. Symon and I were newly married and had a Monday off together to go surfing. To our joy the beach was empty, the waves were beautiful and the water was unusually clear. We sat out in the water chatting while we waited to catch our waves, and while riding a wave I suddenly saw a rather large stingray cruise underneath me.

Now as a surfer, things like a random stingray isn't usually cause for much drama, but when I paddled back out and saw not one, but a whole bay literally infested with stingrays basking in the warm, clear water, fear rose up inside me and I became paralysed with fear.

Somehow I got back to the car and it shook me so much that I realise that this 'fear' thing was becoming a serious issue.

I came to a point in my life where I was so sick of being afraid that I wanted things to change. I had prayer with a leader in my church and started to walk a journey of facing my fears - and I've never been the same since.

I can't say I go looking for daddy-long-leg spiders to cuddle now, but I do make a conscious effort not to allow fear to paralyse me, and to do it afraid - and it works.

Sometimes, your biggest fears can be holding you back from all that God created you to be.

Whether your afraid of spiders, dogs, clowns or speaking in public or being mocked by your friends, unless you decided to face your fears, you will never be able to live the full life that God destined you to have.

Some of my favourite verses in the Bible that relate to fears...

Jesus said, "I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 28:20).

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage;
do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

My motto lately is, if all else fails, do it afraid! I'd rather be facing my fears afraid, that trapped and limited by fear.